Tell Me if I Got a Good Introduction and Claim(thesis) to My Argument of Inquiry Essay.?

Question by Guardian: Tell me if I got a good introduction and claim(thesis) to my argument of inquiry essay.?
My topic is should is Should juveniles be tried as adults.

The purpose of the juvenile justice system is to rehabilitate which can allow them to develop an understanding of what they have done wrong, and how they can change such behavior. The purpose of the criminal justice system is to punish the wrongdoer for his conduct, protecting society from the criminal and also to rehabilitate. Since the 1960s, the criminal justice system has reduced its emphasis on rehabilitation, therefore there are far less parole and probation officers than there were at that time. This theory means to punish the offenders in the system.
On the other hand, juveniles still have a chance for rehabilitation. All of this can be achieved by going through various social programs which includes incarceration, drugs, alcohol and psychological assistance. My opinion on young people being charged as adults, it is not there fault, they have values like everyone else but they should know the difference between right and wrong and there are just some crimes that children should not get away with.

Best answer:

Answer by John U
Well I hate to answer questions with questions but where is your thesis?
Take out the line “My opinion on young people….. You are writing the paper, we already know it is from your point of view or “your opinion.”

Just by reading what you have it seems that you need to do more research on rehabilitation programs for juveniles or adult offenders. Your second premise is that adults no longer have any more possibility of being rehabilitated as opposed to juveniles. Here is a question, if a juvenile is under the age of 18 and an adult is over 18 what about mental capacity? If someone is one day away from their 18th birthday make them more of a candidate for rehabilitation over someone who say just turned 18 last week. So I am going to help you out with your essay and see if you can’t get yourself to go read up some of the material I am going to give you and we will start with your premise: Should Juveniles be charged as adults and to answer that lets see if they are and why and under what circumstances.

The majority of juveniles being charged as adults are those that have committed felony offenses that in most cases (not all) would warrant a aggravated felony charge if they were an adult. If that is the case the circumstances of the argument have to be heard in a juvenile court and a Judge must decide if the crime (s) committed were so egregious and heinous that it would warrant moving the case over to the criminal docket and or criminal court and the offender would be tried as an adult. Now how often has this happened? You can go look but in reality those cases are so bad and the offender was motivated not only by mens rea or intent but such reckless disregard he/she would pose a danger to themselves and anyone else in society if they were just left to leave a juvenile detention center at the age of 21 in most cases and yes, there are many arguments out there that this number has increased and is now out of control.
Second we need to look at your programs. You are correct that since the 60’s lesser emphasis was placed on rehabilitation but more recently it has been coming back very strongly. I encourage you to look up “Restorative Justice.” Yes there are “Social Programs” which is a very very generic term to include drugs assistance (?) but there are specific names for those programs and they take on different shapes and forms in every state (names as well) so we need to go look for those as well.

Put what you have aside for now because it isn’t totally useless and Do some research and read read read and understand what is current not only across the nation but in your community and state as well and use that as a basis to talk about various programs for rehabilitation of offenders.

Once you have done that and can see where you really want to go with this develop a Proper Thesis statement, then your introduction should roll smoothly, leading into your thesis and the following body paragraphs where you argue your thesis points ( and never ever say “I believe” or “My opinion” 🙂 )

Here are some things you can look at that I believe are going to hel you out:

Restorative justice as a community based program to not only aide to rehabilitate offenders but the victims as well. (Read up on it because it involves getting victims, offenders and communities together to resolve the offense in a way and it is being used with juvenile and adult offenders)

Juveniles tried as adults and yes, this first link would probably serve to support your initial argument:

Some ideas on how a juvenile case is moved into the criminal docket:

Last point don’t argue with yourself. You need to either state Juveniles Should never be tried as adults or Juveniles Should Be tried as adults under certain circumstances and what I mean is do away with the “On the other hand” paragraph, your either on board or not and it will make it easier for you to write it without aruing against your own argument, for or against, either way.

And either way, pro or con, you could argue rehabilitation possibilities, recidivism rates for juvenile offenders and on and on.

That’s it, You asked, I gave you an honest answer so hope it helps steer you in the direction you want to take this paper.

What do you think? Answer below!



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