Is It Normal to Not Enjoy Socializing?
Question by Wings: Is it normal to not enjoy socializing?
I haven’t enjoyed spending time with friends or meeting new people since I was a young child. My lack of motivation to create relationships with others and take risks socially, has made my life dry and lifeless. Yet, I keep on isolating myself like I have been for years now. I’m seventeen and I only have one friend, I neglect everyone else who tries to get close to me; although I do feel quite guilty about it. I write and day dream a lot, because I really just want to escape reality.
When I’m with other people I’ve noticed two things about myself, I’m either so anxious I can’t be myself or I’m so bored my mind starts wandering elsewhere. I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot lately, I guess I just really don’t understand how happy people do this.
Is this normal to feel this way? What can I do?
Thank you
Best answer:
Answer by Emile
It’s fine not to enjoy socializing, don’t do it if you don’t want to. Being honest its not really normal, humans usually like being around other humans and bonding with them. Just find something to do that keeps you busy and happy. I play the electric guitar and watch shit on YouTube. I don’t have many friends, I have 3 real life ones and one guy I’m friends with that I met playing minecraft. Though I’m fairly good looking and he’s skinny and decent looking. So we aren’t complete losers and hopeless. Don’t kill yourself, even if you don’t like interacting with people just stay alive. You’ll find something you will never want to stop doing.
Answer by ChiMom
Generally people fall somewhere between being outgoing and social–to–being more introverted and shy (and not social).
But–a symptom of depression is to isolate from people. AND since you brought up suicide–it leads me to think you are feeling depressed.
Now there is a difference between ‘feeling’ depressed (which we all do at some point in life)–and–actually having the mental disorder called “Depression”. The mental disorder is genetic–and passed down in families. It causes the brain to lack enough of a chemical that regulates emotion. This brings on the symptoms of depression.
So–first thing is to find out if there is a family history of the mental disorder, depression. If so, you ‘may’ have had it passed on to you.
If not, you may be feeling lousy and depressed, which makes you want to not be social.
As for suicide–that is a serious, permanent thing. Once you do it–that’s it.
I always tell my patients that they have their whole life to commit suicide. What is the rush.
Life changes constantly–and what has you depressed may change.
Especially during the teenage years, when you are maturing and becoming more independent. You are on an emotional rollercoaster, due to hormones, mainly. This is normal. It will pass. Life gets better.
Some days you have to just live one day at a time and not worry about tomorrow.
Oh–and ‘anxiety’ goes hand-in-hand with depression! So feeling anxious is part of it all.
What you can do;
Find someone you trust and ask to talk with them. Whether it be a counselor, teacher, aunt, cousin, friend–whoever.
get some sun on your face. get some exercise–it releases ‘endorphins’, the ‘feel good’ hormones. Get involved in helping another person–it takes the focus off of feeling negative and depressed. Help an elderly neighbor with food shopping–walk their dog, etc.
To your final questions; Yes–it is normal to feel the way you do–at this point in your life. This does NOT mean that you will feel the same way next week–or next year!!
Replace negative ‘self-talk’ with positive.
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