Depressed Mother That Won’t Leave the Bed?

Question by Rae: Depressed mother that won’t leave the bed?
My mother has had depression for a few years now. I started wanted to right “battling depression” but she isn’t really battling depression. She just does nothing. She doesn’t even get out of the bed. She has been in rehab for medication addiction, and has been hospitalized after an overdose that left her in a coma for over a month.
My family and I don’t know what to do anymore? It is difficult to have compassion when she is behaving this selfishly. We have had to start a rotation of “shifts” to watch her and I am sick of seeing my Dad so sad and broken. I am frustrated and angry, but also sad. How does one continue to live like this? She doesn’t even feel like my mother. She has seen psychiatrists, councilors at a church, psychologists, but she just DOES NOT want to get better. I am not talking about going through heartache and feeling broken for a while. She has been like this for years. And if you catch her on a bad “shift” she shouts abusive things at a person, and brings up things over 20 years in the past.

How? I don’t know what else to say? Please, does anyone have any suggestions? Anything?

Best answer:

Answer by Scottydog
Rae, I am so sorry, I do not know what the answer is but I could not just read your question and ignore you. I am so sorry for you and your family, and I am sorry for your mum too because obviously given a choice she wouldn’t choose to be like this. She must be so unhappy deep inside but her hurt is preventing her from seeing how she is damaging you and your family…

You say there is contact with professional services, that is good. The only suggestion I can make is that you and your family talk about your mum together and support one another, and get any help you can…

So sorry.

Answer by DanTheMan
You have to understand why she is depressed. When my dad died my mom fell into a similar state. She had to deal with the grief before she was ok. In her case she had a great friend who really pulled her up by her bootstraps and got her back on track. Figure out why she’s sad and then make sure she has the right people with the right attitude in her life. A single person can make all the difference. But mind you, my mom was motivated to get over her depression because she had 2 sons to support. If your mom has no motivation you’d better find her some or you’ll not get anywhere.


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